Each week matters. I am in my 13th and I feel wonderful after an ultrasound that brought me to my tears. Good tears, happy tears! Both me and my boyfriend couldn’t hold it in after hearing for the very first time our baby’s little heart beating.
And oh my, is she growing! Growing like crazy!
Just a week ago our baby was 5.5 cm (2′ 2“) long and now is about 6.9 cm (2′ 7“). Can you believe it? Her tiny arms and legs are moving, and so many organs and body parts are already there: kidneys, lungs, liver, abdomen, bladder, veins, spine,… We are told our baby is the size of a lemon, but it seems to me she is the size of the universe itself. This is just how happy I am, even with all this morning sickness that just won’t go away.
Pasta (and so much of it!) helps, and so does Netflix. My doctor advised me to rest due to problems I had in the first few weeks of pregnancy, so I am pretty much staying at home and avoiding things to do. I am reading about pregnancy, as this is my first, and binge watching Japanese reality TV show „Terrace House“. 6 people sharing a house in Tokyo are also approaching their 13th week during which nothing much happened. Uchi and Minori are still not a thing, and Yuki and Mizuki are not able to shake off bad luck they’ve had with the opposite sex since the start of the season.
It made me wonder just how meaningless 13 weeks are in an adult life, but means so much for a tiny human growing inside me. Maybe I’ve taken days before my pregnancy for granted, maybe I didn’t think about things so much. The day has been just a day. Nothing revolutionary or magical happens in a day, right? Yes, some days are better than others, and some are just hard as money is always lacking and giving it your best at work is not always enough.
But oh my, how my worries seem so irrelevant now. Is it because I am pregnant, or because I took a much needed break from the rat race I participated in so far, and now I actually have time to stop and smell the roses, enjoy what I cherish the most: my loved ones. Every day is the most important day happening. Every week is different because my tiny human is getting bigger and bigger, stronger and stronger.
And yes, I am well aware these moments of utter bliss will interchange with those of constant worrying about my baby growing healthy or loosing a job. But I tend now more than ever to live in a moment, and appreciate them one by one, as they come. I know my hormones are going wild, and this is a pregnant lady speaking, but I cannot hide it: I am smitten by the beating of my baby’s heart and so absolutely in love.

(to be continued)

Mia, 35 yrs old

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